


Naite iru Boku no Jikan (My turn to cry)

by vogue91



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band), Kis-My-Ft2 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drunkenness, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 17:04:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14430180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: “I’ve known you for years Tama-chan, and I believe this is the first time I’ve seen you drink.” he said, smiling, a smile that Tamamori found out of place, considering his face still showed the sign of tears.He shook his head, taking another sip.“There’s a first time for everything.”





	Naite iru Boku no Jikan (My turn to cry)

Tamamori felt like crying.

When Kazuya had come to his door, equally crying, he had deemed him deeply contagious.

He had started ranting, and hadn’t Tamamori known what was bothering him he wouldn’t have understood a word he had sad.

He felt a little sorry for him. And a lot for himself, but there was no room for that, he knew as much.

He cried, sitting on his couch, staring intent at a sake glass.

“You know, when he’s come to Japan last time it had been like nothing had changed. We’ve been together, like we were before he went to Los Angeles, and I had thought...” he lowered his eyes, biting his lips. “I had thought it was better, between him and me. That we could actually try to mend the relationship once and for all.”

Tamamori winced, wishing the other hadn’t seen him.

Oh, he knew everything had seemed to him like before. He knew Kame was happy, he knew that those few days with Jin had made him feel better like he hadn’t in months.

And he knew that sooner or later someone was going to have to collect the pieces, because Akanishi had always been way too good at breaking him.

This time though, there was going to be no coming back, there wasn’t going to be a reconciliation, and nothing him or the others could’ve told him would’ve convinced him that things could’ve actually been for the best.

Yuta sat on the armchair in front of the elder, handing him another full glass and sighing.

“Kame... he’s always been like this, and you know this too. You should’ve expected that one day...” he tried to say, but the other stopped him right away.

“What was I supposed to expect? That he got some woman he barely knows pregnant and married her, Tama? Is this really what I should’ve expected from Jin, after all we’ve been through together?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, frustrated.

Tamamori bit his tongue hard, and said nothing.

Oh, he would’ve had stuff to say, and a lot.

He could’ve told him that, yes, he should’ve expected it, because Jin had never been one for monogamy. That he should’ve expected it, because he couldn’t ask of him the minimum seriousness required not to end up in a mess like that, not from someone like him.

That he should’ve expected it, because Akanishi Jin had never loved him.

He had spent a good part of his life with Kame, had had his fun, but he had never felt for him what Kame had always felt for him.

And everybody knew that, and who was close enough had also asked Jin not to mess with him so much, not to play with fire, but Akanishi had never given a damn, and Kazuya had chosen to see what he wanted to see.

And now that he was paying the price of that misplaced trust, all Tamamori wanted was to face Jin and...

And what could he have done?

Tamamori didn’t feel much better. He had been waiting for years for something like this to happen, that Kame would’ve finally realized who the man he loved truly was, and now that he saw him in this state he hated himself for having thought that.

It wasn’t Kame’s fault, after all, if Yuta was in love with him, if he had never found the courage to tell him, if he had always voluntarily misunderstood his senpai’s intentions.

He went close to him, uncomfortable, and started drinking with him.

He turned up his nose for the sharp taste of the alcohol and the sudden burn down his throat, while he heard Kamenashi chuckle.

He turned to look at him, embarrassed, while the other patted his shoulder.

“I’ve known you for years Tama-chan, and I believe this is the first time I’ve seen you drink.” he said, smiling, a smile that Tamamori found out of place, considering his face still showed the sign of tears.

He shook his head, taking another sip.

“There’s a first time for everything.” he said, then let go against the backrest.

Kame drank again. And again, and again, and again, until he was completely over the edge.

He laid his upper body down on the couch, his head on the armrest and looked at him, while his eyes closed on their own.

“I...” he mumbled, while Tamamori got closer to hear him better. “I love him, Yuta.”

The younger clenched his eyes.

It was the first time he used his given name, and he hated that he couldn’t relish the moment better.

“I know, Kame. I know you love him.” he murmured, daring to start brushing his arm. “I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. I wish I could exorcise these demons from your past, have you forget he exists. But...” he left the sentence hanging, but the other didn’t seem to mind.

“I know. There’s nothing to be done.” Kazuya’s voice was muffled by alcohol and tiredness, and Tamamori knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. “Thank you, Tama.” he whispered, and it didn’t take him much more to fall asleep.

Yuta kept watching him and brushing lightly his fingertips o his skin, aware of the fact that the next morning the elder would’ve barely remembered to have gotten there.

He looked at him, and thought it wasn’t fair for him to be so desperate, that Jin didn’t deserve his tears and his pain, and that Yuta instead would’ve been able to make him happy.

But he was never going to know that for sure, because Kame was never going to forget Akanishi, because he would’ve always been a live shadow of his past.

Tamamori stared at the bottle, sighing.

Now, finally, it was his turn to cry.

 


End file.
